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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29406747">pain works on a sliding scale;</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/unintentionallyangsty/pseuds/unintentionallyangsty'>unintentionallyangsty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>let all be quiet (in your head); [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anorexia, Anxiety Attacks, Big Brother Thor (Marvel), Bittersweet Ending, Brodinsons, Brother Feels, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Bulimia, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Dysfunctional Family, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Food Issues, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Gets a Hug (Marvel), Loki Lives (Marvel), Men Crying, Mental Health Issues, New Asgard, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Protective Thor (Marvel), Relapsing, Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), heed the tags</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:35:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29406747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/unintentionallyangsty/pseuds/unintentionallyangsty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Thor notices that Loki has stopped eating, he's left shaken, somewhat frustrated, and entirely unsure of how he should handle the situation. </p>
<p>Predictably, Loki does not seem to think that there is a <i>situation<i> that needs to be handled at all, and continues conducting himself as such. </i></i></p>
<p>Which, of course, can only last so long before something reaches a boiling point.</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">(Angst/Fluff Prompts #18 and #54 Fill: "Tell me what's wrong." / "Talk to me.")</span>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bruce Banner &amp; Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie &amp; Thor (Marvel), Loki &amp; Thor, Loki &amp; Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>let all be quiet (in your head); [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2116422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>176</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>pain works on a sliding scale;</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Loki &amp; Thor. Takes place in New Asgard. Loki is alive and Infinity War has decidedly Not happened.</p>
<p>written for the Angst/Fluff Prompts #18 and #54 Fill: "Tell me what's wrong." / "Talk to me." </p>
<p><b>major story warnings !! :</b> graphic descriptions of eating disorders, and mentions of vomit, self harm, and panic attacks. please please tread carefully</p>
<p>(again, brief disclaimer that each story within this series is unrelated/non-linear. unless otherwise stated, this is a series of unrelated one-shots and nothing more. enjoy!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m afraid I wouldn’t be very good company, tonight.” </p>
<p>At the words, Thor felt himself freeze before he could quite stop the reaction, and allowed another beat of a moment to pass as he regathered his thoughts before he exhaled, slowly, and turned from where he was facing the stew boiling on the stovetop to meet Loki’s furtive gaze.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” he inquired, slowly enough that, under any other circumstances, Loki might have been able to read the warning behind the words for what it was. </p>
<p>These weren’t average circumstances, however, and if the ugly suspicion slowly rousing to life at the back of Thor’s mind was correct (and <em>Norns</em>, how he hoped that would not be the case), Loki’s calculated response to his inquiry would be notably more defensive in its shrewdness than was typical.</p>
<p>True to form, Loki’s shoulders tensed almost immediately, inching further toward his ears even as he drew himself up in a flimsy sort of show of defiance. </p>
<p>It was an obvious tell, and Thor felt his stomach drop sickeningly at the sight. </p>
<p>“What do <em>you </em>mean, what do I mean?” Loki snapped, and Thor might have almost bought the carefully crafted flippancy of the words, had he not been anticipating them entirely. </p>
<p>“I’m tired.” Loki continued with a forced, jerking sort of shrug. “I’m going to bed.” </p>
<p>He turned on one heel, then, and, feigning irritation, began striding toward his bedroom, seemingly before Thor could formulate a response. </p>
<p>
As it was, Thor forced himself to swallow the protest at the tip of his tongue, and watched Loki disappear around the corner as dread tightened at his throat and lungs. </p>
<p>Slowly, as if his movements were not quite his own, Thor turned to turn the stove behind him off with a <em>click</em>, and removed the now entirely unappetizing looking meal from the heat. </p>
<p>It had been <em>months</em>, he considered distantly as he moved to place a lid over the pot of still bubbling stew. Over a <em>year </em>since Loki had fallen back on such behaviors. </p>
<p>The truth, however, was staring Thor undeniably in the face, even as he desperately wished otherwise. </p>
<p>Loki had stopped eating again. </p>
<p>The second the thought rose to the forefront of his mind, Thor let out a muffled curse, and covered his mouth with one hand as he fought to control the panic he could feel clawing its way up through his chest. </p>
<p>
They had been so careful, hadn’t they? Made a meticulous and dedicated effort to draw Loki back from--from <em>that</em>. </p>
<p>Even if they had never quite verbally addressed what <em>‘that’ </em>entailed. </p>
<p>Not since Thor had initially noticed Loki’s aversion to meals, during their time on the <em>Statesman</em>...or the way he would keep himself busy enough to shrug off having skipped them entirely… </p>
<p>Then, Thor had hardly had time to register the ever-present, near dormant fraternal worry churning to life at the back of his mind. They had barely escaped the destruction of their homeworld a scant few weeks before, after all. </p>
<p>Which, Thor considered, was not necessarily an excuse for his having taken so long to notice that Loki hadn’t eaten a thing in those few weeks. </p>
<p>And, by the time he had, things had seemed to balance out mostly on their own, leaving Thor reeling with a near-dizzying, dangerous sense of relief. </p>
<p>Then, it hadn’t taken much before Loki had given in to Thor’s pleas to sit with the rest of the group and make time for at least one meal a day, with little complaint. </p>
<p>And sure, since then there had been the odd snag or two. Times Loki would simply pick at his meals, rather than seem to actually make any effort to enjoy them, or stay in bed so long that Thor would be left with little choice but to leave in order to attend to his own duties, and subsequently fail to remain and ensure that Loki actually ate breakfast. </p>
<p>
Loki had, however, always been a picky eater. Even before their falling out on the Bifrost (and everything that had followed), even Frigga had occasionally been hard-pressed to convince a younger Loki to eat much of anything, at times. </p>
<p>The junctures were not uncommon, though Thor would not claim ignorance to the fact that they had seemed to grow both intensity and length, in recent years.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, it was with these memories in mind that Thor had, over the past year or so, convinced himself to shrug off a majority of his concern, and allowed Loki to simply bounce back on his own, rather than confronting him outright or crowding him. </p>
<p>He wasn’t a fool, after all, and was well aware that there was little in the universe that would cause Loki to bristle faster than addressing an issue head-on. </p>
<p>So Thor had consistently willed himself to keep his silence, and had truly begun to believe that things had started to get better, after a nearly half a Midgardian year had gone by without incident. </p>
<p>For Loki to be falling back on old habits now, therefore, made Thor’s stomach twist in undeniable worry. </p>
<p>It was true, Thor reminded himself, that winter always hit harder for Loki than it did for most. He had, in fact, almost certainly anticipated melancholy from his brother, and perhaps even the need to initiate more pointed efforts at seeking out his company, in order to avoid Loki withdrawing into himself entirely. </p>
<p>This, however? The script was too familiar, Loki’s excuses already so predictable that Thor could not quite bring himself to deny the reality of the situation. </p>
<p>His stomach still turning uncomfortably, Thor wandered listlessly to take a seat at the kitchen table, his meal all but forgotten as he continued to turn Loki’s behavior over in his mind. </p>
<p>Perhaps, he considered somewhat dismally, the behavior would follow the same pattern it had initially, and Loki simply needed a few days time to sort himself out before he acquiesced to Thor’s insistence that they take a meal or two together a day. </p>
<p>It was how they had operated over what was, more or less, the entirety of the past year, after all. </p>
<p>Thor would take care to ensure that he and Loki sat down for either breakfast or dinner together (if not both), and keep a careful watch out the corner of his eye to reassure himself that Loki was finishing at least half of his meal. </p>
<p>The thought did little to calm Thor’s nerves now, though he forced himself to swallow back the fear and uncertainty rising at the back of his throat, and stood again in preparation to clean up after his own attempts at dinner. </p>
<p>He would give Loki a week, he decided firmly. If he continued to evade meals following that, Thor would concede to taking a more direct approach. </p>
<p>Unsurprisingly, Thor did not feel much better following the decision, though he willed himself to place the entire situation at the back of his mind, and attempted to remain content at simply remaining vigilant and careful, for the time being. </p>
<p>It was, after all, all he felt that could do. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Five days following Thor’s initial revelation, Loki agreed to join him for breakfast. </p>
<p>Or, more accurately, Thor was finally granted the opportune moment to corner Loki when he was ill-prepared to offer any valid excuse, an occasion so rare Thor would have missed it, were it not for him turning from the microwave where his oatmeal was slowly heating with just enough time to catch Loki hastening almost silently from his bedroom toward the front door. </p>
<p>“Morning,” Thor greeted and, when Loki froze in a movement so obviously guilty it was almost painful to see, turned to fumble with his still steaming mug of coffee where it sat on the edge of the counter. </p>
<p>“Morning.” Loki mumbled, nearly inaudible, and Thor did not have to glance up to know that his hands would be fidgeting slightly at his sides, though he did, anyway. </p>
<p>In turn, Loki jut his chin out in obviously forced nonchalance. He clearly had not anticipated Thor being awake quite so early, though he was endeavoring to hide the brief moment of surprise. </p>
<p>“Have somewhere to be?” Thor inquired airily, and forced himself to tear his gaze away to where the microwave was signaling the completion of his meal, now. </p>
<p>From behind, he could just make out the sound of Loki’s breath stuttering, barely perceptible, before it abruptly evened out and his brother offered a non-committal hum. </p>
<p>“Just getting a head start.” Loki finally replied with a huff. And, when Thor turned back to face him, he found Loki tracking his movements warily out the corner of his eye. </p>
<p>
“You know how winter gets busier around here, after all.” </p>
<p>It was Thor’s turn to hum, though he did not offer a reply immediately, and instead simply deposited the bowl of oatmeal onto the table before turning back to rifle through the cupboards for another. </p>
<p>“Before the council meeting?” he inquired, at length, and felt more than saw Loki stiffen slightly behind him. “Surely nothing could be so demanding of your time, before then.” </p>
<p>There was an elongated pause, before Loki shuffled audibly and offered another, halfhearted chuckle. </p>
<p>Meaning he had forgotten the council meeting entirely, Thor realized with a disheartening jolt. It was unlike Loki to be so forgetful at almost any point in time, though lapses in memory had been an increasingly common theme, during those first few weeks on the <em>Statesman… </em></p>
<p>The thought was hardly heartening, and Thor found himself preparing the second bowl of oatmeal with a little more force than was strictly necessary. </p>
<p><em>Calm down,</em> he reminded himself sternly, <em>You allotted him a week.</em> </p>
<p>Startling an already clearly wary Loki was the last thing Thor wanted to do. There was no need, after all, to jump to any unnecessary conclusions while Loki was still oscillating halfway between the kitchen and the front door, rather than taking the opportunity to flee, entirely. </p>
<p>“There’s coffee.” Thor continued, when it seemed that Loki was not going to reply, and gestured first to the near-full pot of the drink, then to the oatmeal cooling on the table. “We have time for a quick breakfast, as well.” </p>
<p>To Thor, the words were tight and near transparently hopeful. </p>
<p>If Loki noticed the slip, however, he did not react. </p>
<p>Rather, he hesitated another brief moment and shuffled again. </p>
<p>“I--” he stammered uncharacteristically, before he seemed to come to some private conclusion, and moved swiftly forward to take the seat opposite Thor’s breakfast. “I suppose so.” </p>
<p>Something like hope flared within Thor’s chest at the easy agreement, though he forced himself to school his features into an at least somewhat believably casual smile as he turned to place the fresh bowl of oatmeal before Loki. </p>
<p>He did not miss the way Loki tensed slightly as soon as the food was placed before him, though he fought not to draw attention to the movement, and instead settled himself as casually as possible into the seat opposite. </p>
<p>“Sugar?” he offered as he poured a generous amount over his own breakfast. </p>
<p>Loki’s lip curled in obvious disgust as he watched the process, though he managed to shake his head, after a moment. </p>
<p>“No, thank you.” he replied primly and, seemingly realizing that Thor’s attention was not going to be diverted anytime soon, reached forward to grab the spoon from beside his bowl and begin prodding at his own oatmeal. </p>
<p>It was frighteningly reminiscent of the way he had behaved several times in the past, though Thor forced himself to feign interest in his meal, rather than continuing to stare Loki down. </p>
<p>“We’re discussing security measures with the council, today.” Thor spoke, casually enough, he thought. In the past, his attempts to goad Loki into eating had never been very successful unless every point of attention in the room was focussed on anything but him. </p>
<p>It seemed that this time was no different, for a few moments later Thor was rewarded by Loki taking a small bite of his cooling oatmeal. </p>
<p>“I figured you’d have some input, given that you’re--” Thor gestured vaguely with his spoon, though he kept his gaze carefully focussed on the table between them, rather than on the slight grimace that briefly creased Loki’s features. “You.” </p>
<p>Loki hummed noncommittally, his shoulders hunched and own eyes somewhat unfocussed, though Thor noted with some cheer that he did take another bite. </p>
<p>They sat like that for a while longer, Thor hardly hearing his own words as he continued chatting inanely, and Loki offering small hums and monosyllabic answers in reply. </p>
<p>And, if Loki’s hand shook minutely as he continued to almost mechanically bring the spoon to his lips, Thor did not draw attention to it. </p>
<p>Eventually, Thor finished his own breakfast, though he noted with some disappointment that Loki had hardly managed half of his, and a tentative silence fell between them. </p>
<p>Determined not to let the moment slip into awkwardness, however (he was not confident that Loki would agree to a repeat occasion, were this to happen), Thor cleared his throat--</p>
<p>Only for his phone to buzz obnoxiously where it was sitting on the edge of the table, causing Thor to startle slightly, though Loki hardly seemed to react. </p>
<p>There was a beat and, when it seemed that Loki was not going to even glance up from where he was continuing to glare at his meal with a slightly furrowed brow, Thor moved to scoop the still ringing device up, and fumbled it for a moment before answering. </p>
<p>“You’re late.” the Valkyrie’s voice on the other end of the line sounded before Thor could so much as utter a greeting. </p>
<p>“I’m--” Thor glanced at the digital clock above the stove, and was surprised to find that the meeting had, indeed, been scheduled to start more than ten minutes prior. </p>
<p>“I’m late.” he echoed, and felt a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth when Val huffed something almost like a chuckle on the other end of the line. </p>
<p>“I’m chatting with them, but the council’s kind of anxious to get a move on, I think.” she replied, and muttered something unintelligible to someone before continuing, “Heimdall and I can only hold them off for so long.” </p>
<p>Thor huffed, and turned to shoot Loki a wry look, only for his smile to fade slightly when it seemed that Loki had not moved from his hunched position, as if he wasn’t at all concerned with what was going on around him. </p>
<p>Or even aware, Thor thought with an unpleasant jolt, though he forced himself to tear his gaze away and focus on the situation at hand. </p>
<p>One thing at a time. </p>
<p>“Tell them I’m on my way.” Thor instructed Val with a small, weary sigh. </p>
<p>“Already tried that.” Val quipped, “They didn’t seem to believe me, for some reason.” </p>
<p>Thor did chuckle, then, and stood from the table to deposit his empty bowl in the sink. </p>
<p>“I’m walking out the door.” he promised, before hanging up and pocketing the phone. </p>
<p>He paused, however, when he turned to find Loki suddenly sat upright, eyes bright and curious as they met Thor’s. </p>
<p>“I suppose you are late.” he commented with a cursory glance at the clock. “Better not to keep them waiting.” </p>
<p>“I--” Thor shook his head slightly, a little thrown by the sudden shift in behavior. “Aren’t you--” </p>
<p>“I’ll be right behind you.” Loki interrupted with a small, tight smile. “I’m afraid I’m not quite prepared to face the council without having had at least one cup of coffee.” </p>
<p>That startled a small laugh out of Thor, and he felt the tightness within his chest ease slightly when Loki’s own smile softened into something a bit more genuine at the sound. </p>
<p>For a brief moment, Thor considered insisting that Loki accompany him. There was a coffee maker in the council hall, after all (put there at Bruce’s insistence), and he would feel better knowing that Loki was beside him. </p>
<p>The moment passed quickly, however, and Thor decided that allowing Loki the space was probably the best move, at present. </p>
<p>“Alright.” he agreed with a small shrug, and crossed the room to the door. “Though I think you’re just making excuses to avoid the council.” </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Loki drawled, fluttering his lashes in exaggerated innocence. </p>
<p>Thor laughed again, and offered a mock-stern look before he turned and exited the house entirely. </p>
<p>Outside, the air was brisk, though it did little to quell the buoyant hope that had begun to take up residence within his chest. </p>
<p>Perhaps the past few days had simply been a brief setback, Thor considered as he strode toward the council hall, his breath fanning out visibly before him. Perhaps Loki had simply been feeling unwell, or more melancholy than was typical. </p>
<p>He seemed to have been eating well enough that morning, after all, and would likely improve as the week went on. </p>
<p>Despite his cheer at the thought, Thor shuddered slightly as a gust of wind hit his frame, and slowed to a halt as he wrapped his arms around his middle. </p>
<p>In his haste, he had neglected to grab his coat from where he had lazily hung it over the arm of the sofa, the evening before. And, though the Valkyrie would likely be irate at his continued absence, the idea of turning back for the article of clothing was sorely tempting. </p>
<p>Another gust of wind, this one more violent than the last, whipped Thor’s hair about wildly, and effectively made his mind up for him. </p>
<p>With a small grunt, Thor turned on his heel and sped back toward the house, opening his mouth to declare his unhappiness with the weather as he turned the knob to the front door--</p>
<p>Only to stagger to a halt in the entryway, his stomach dropping to his boots as he took in the sight of Loki, hunched over the counter and vomiting every last bit of his breakfast into the kitchen sink. </p>
<p>Preoccupied as Loki was, Thor’s entrance had seemed to have gone unnoticed. And, without quite realizing that he was doing it, Thor fell back out into the cold and shut the door before him with a quiet <em>snick</em>. </p>
<p>His heart hammering, now, Thor stumbled back another few steps and heaved for breath as he attempted to reign his thoughts in from where they had been sent scattering. </p>
<p>Loki was vomiting. Loki was--</p>
<p><em>Was</em> he ill, then? Had that been the reasoning for his behavior, over the past week? And he had simply gone out of his way to keep it from Thor because--</p>
<p>Because of what? Some misplaced sense of <em>pride</em>? Somehow, Thor did not think this was the case. Loki fell ill often enough, and the past few times he had, he had offered only mild complaining when Thor inevitably caught on and fussed, as he was wont to do. </p>
<p>Was this, then, something else entirely? </p>
<p>The thought drove what little breath Thor had managed to regain back out of his lungs with a <em>whoosh</em>, and he clumsily fell back into step toward the council hall, though he was hardly aware of his own movements or direction. </p>
<p>This wasn’t illness, he determined as he walked. At least, not the kind of illness that could be cured with a few day’s bed rest and a cup of tea. </p>
<p>No, Thor considered. He was not quite so foolishly optimistic as to convince himself that they had not moved <em>far </em>beyond such a simple solution. </p>
<p>As he reached the door to the council hall, Thor forced himself to slow and inhale a deep, steadying breath through his nose. </p>
<p>He could not take the time to sift through the hundreds upon hundreds of thoughts plying for attention at the back of his mind, just now. Even now, he was certain that he would have a difficult enough time dedicating his attention to the council meeting ahead. </p>
<p>The council meeting he was decidedly late for, now. </p>
<p>With another, unsteady sigh, Thor reached out and let himself into the hall and forced a thin, apologetic smile to offer Val onto his face. </p>
<p>If the immediate sobering of her expression the minute he strode into the hall was anything to go by, his attempt was not very successful.</p>
<p>As the council members took their seats, most with poorly concealed impatience, Val skirted around the end of the table so that she was stood at Thor’s side, a small furrow between her brows.</p>
<p>“Alright, Highness?” she inquired, quietly enough that no one but Thor could hear. </p>
<p>“Fine.” Thor diverted as cheerily as he could manage, before turning to take his own seat at the head of the table. </p>
<p>He could feel the Valkyrie hovering for another few moments just over his shoulder, before she too took her seat, her expression decidedly morose, now. </p>
<p>Thor felt a pang of guilt shoot through his chest at the sight, though he forced himself to turn his attention to the council member already hailing the beginning of the meeting. </p>
<p>He would talk to Val, and possibly Banner, as soon as the meeting concluded. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, he thought somewhat dismally, he could not afford to drop everything and dedicate the entirety of his attentions to making sure that Loki was alright. Not now. Not when they were a kingdom still so young. </p>
<p>However fervently he wished that it were not the case, he would have to wait. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>It didn’t take Thor long to track Bruce down, after the meeting. </p>
<p>Though Banner hadn’t actually attended (and neither, to Thor’s ever increasing chagrin and worry, had Loki), Thor was relatively confident as to where he could find his friend almost any given morning. </p>
<p>
True to form, Thor only had to cast his gaze over the cliffside for just a few moments, before it landed on where Bruce was stood, his back to Thor and hands stuffed into the pockets of his thick winter parka. </p>
<p>“Enjoying the view?” Thor inquired by way of greeting as he approached, and offered a gentle smile when Bruce turned to face him with a crooked one of his own. </p>
<p>“Never seems to get old.” he replied, before he raised a brow inquisitively. “A little cold for just a shirt, though.” </p>
<p>Thor glanced briefly down at his flannel before offering a sort of half-smile, half-wince. </p>
<p>“I was uh, preoccupied.” he finally muttered. </p>
<p>Bruce continued to eye him curiously for another moment, before he turned back to face the cresting waves before them. </p>
<p>“Anything you want to talk about?” </p>
<p>Thor opened his mouth, before hesitating and truly considering the question. </p>
<p>He hadn’t had an opportunity to stop the Valkyrie and explain his reasoning for being late, following the meeting, as she had been called upon to handle a communication issue with one of their suppliers almost as soon as Thor had managed to break away. </p>
<p>The scene Thor had walked in on earlier, therefore, and the subsequent questions that had continued to war for dominance within his mind, had him teetering on the edge of simply spilling every detail to Bruce with little preamble. </p>
<p>He forced himself to pause, however, and bit his lip as he considered how best to continue. </p>
<p>Bruce was, after all, a man of medicine (to a certain degree). Perhaps he could help, in some way, if Thor offered him the appropriate information. </p>
<p>Which was exactly what he intended, and opened his mouth to do so.</p>
<p>What came out instead, however, was a harried exclamation of, “I need one of your PHDs!”</p>
<p>Beside him, Thor felt more than saw Bruce blink, before he turned to face Thor and blinked again as he drew the thick hood of his parka back as if he hadn’t quite heard him correctly. </p>
<p>“You <em>need </em>one of them?” he repeated, somewhat incredulously. </p>
<p>This time, Thor did wince, though he forced himself to hasten on. </p>
<p>“Not--not one of them.” he amended, and gestured a little helplessly before continuing, “I need <em>you</em>. To <em>use </em>one of them.” </p>
<p>If anything, Bruce’s expression only grew more dubious, though he did turn to face Thor fully with a sort of resigned sigh. </p>
<p>“Alright,” he said slowly. “Uh--What’s up?” </p>
<p>Thor hesitated another moment, before deciding that simply diving straight into the issue might be the best course of action, considering the circumstances. </p>
<p>“It’s Loki.” he blurted, and distractedly registered Bruce’s abruptly creasing features before pressing on. “He’s not eating.” </p>
<p>There was a heavy pause, then, before Bruce exhaled a somewhat explosive breath, and averted his gaze somewhere over Thor’s shoulder. </p>
<p>“That--” he grimaced, “Thor, that--shit, man. <em>Thor</em>.” </p>
<p>“I know.” Thor conceded. And he <em>did </em>know. Knew that this was an issue big enough that he should probably not be burdening a friend with it. Knew that it was not something that might be so easily solved by a simple conversation. </p>
<p>Knew that, above all else, it was ultimately <em>his </em>responsibility to fix, and that he was failing his brother even as they spoke. </p>
<p>Nevertheless, Thor forced a somewhat pleading expression onto his face. </p>
<p>“I know.” he repeated. “I just…” </p>
<p>He allowed himself to trail off then, hoping that he would not have to continue for Bruce to understand. </p>
<p>And, after a moment, it seemed that Bruce did, for he heaved another small exhale before jerking a small, short nod. </p>
<p>“Okay,” he muttered, and seemed to hesitate another moment before he met Thor’s gaze head on. </p>
<p>“He’s got a history of this, right?” </p>
<p>For some reason, the question made something within Thor’s gut turn uncomfortably, though he forced himself to nod a confirmation. </p>
<p>Bruce had been there on the <em>Statesman</em>, after all. Had shared their chambers, and seen just as much as anyone else. </p>
<p>It wasn’t as if Loki had tried particularly hard to hide his tendencies, at any rate. </p>
<p>Rather than appear alarmed at the information, however, Bruce simply nodded distractedly. </p>
<p>“Right,” he murmured, “I remember. On the, uh--On the ship.” </p>
<p>
“Yes.” Thor admitted, and swallowed a little thickly. </p>
<p>“Right.” Bruce repeated, a little more certainly. Then, “What’s changed now?” </p>
<p>Thor blinked. “What?”</p>
<p>“Well, you haven’t--” Bruce gestured weakly with one hand. “You don’t usually ask for help or--or advice when it comes to Loki. And the ship can’t have been the last time it’s happened.” </p>
<p>Thor tried not to cringe at the blunt quality of the words, though Bruce did not seem to notice as he continued, “Something must have changed or--or worsened to have prompted...well, this.” </p>
<p>Bruce’s gaze, which had drifted as he had rambled, snapped to meet Thor’s again, his expression almost feverish in its curiosity. </p>
<p>Innately, Thor knew that Banner was only operating as he typically tended to; putting his best, analytical mind forward and working out all the problems of the scenario before he came to any conclusion. </p>
<p>In spite of this, however, Thor felt himself bristle at the idea of sharing anything further, and he had to take a moment to force himself to simply <em>breathe </em>and think rationally about things, before he was able to continue. </p>
<p>“I--” Thor swallowed. “I walked in on him vomiting. This morning.” </p>
<p>Almost immediately, Bruce stilled, before he fell back a step and ran an unsteady hand through his hair. </p>
<p>“<em>Shit</em>, Thor.” </p>
<p>“I don’t know what to do.” Thor admitted abruptly, his chest tightening at the very idea of Bruce deciding that this was too much for him to deal with, and removing himself from the situation entirely. “He’s--I don’t know what to do.” </p>
<p>
“I’m--” Bruce grimaced. “I’m not that kind of doctor, man.” </p>
<p>“I know.” Thor repeated. “And I’m not asking you to fix this. I just…” he exhaled, and allowed his shoulders to deflate, slightly. </p>
<p>“I just need advice.” </p>
<p>Something about his tone, or possibly the words themselves, seemed to resonate with Bruce, for he only hesitated another brief moment before he seemed to relent with little more than a sigh. </p>
<p>“I don’t know.” he admitted with a small shrug. “I’ve never dealt with this kind of thing first hand. You’re sure this hasn’t happened before?” </p>
<p>Thor wasn’t, though he offered a short nod and replied, “Not to my knowledge.” </p>
<p>“Okay.” Bruce nodded distractedly and repeated, “Okay. I--Do you have any idea what’s prompting it?”</p>
<p>“Prompting it?” Thor echoed blankly. </p>
<p>“Yeah, like--” Bruce tugged slightly at his curls as he seemed to mull the information over. “Causing it, I guess? A lot of the time it’s just a--a weight thing. Or a size thing, I guess. But…”</p>
<p>“You don’t think that’s the case.” Thor finished for him, the words hardly a question. </p>
<p>“I don’t.” Bruce confirmed with a small shrug. “I could be wrong, I guess.” </p>
<p>
“But you have other ideas?” Thor inquired, somewhat hopefully now. </p>
<p>“I--” Bruce paused, and took a moment to stuff his hands deep within his pockets before continuing. </p>
<p>“It might be fear.” he replied flatly, after a moment. “Or shame, maybe.” </p>
<p>Thor’s stomach turned unpleasantly at the idea, though he knew well enough not to dispute it entirely. </p>
<p>At one point in time, he would have balked at the very idea of associating words like ‘shame’ or ‘fear’ with Loki. </p>
<p>Now, however? </p>
<p>Thor grimaced, but forced himself to nod.</p>
<p>
“Anything else?” he questioned, an obscure and decidedly misplaced hope fluttering so madly within his chest that he was nearly dizzy with it, for a moment. </p>
<p>Bruce made a face. “I’d say give him time?” he offered, and hastened to continue when Thor opened his mouth to argue, “Don’t--don’t let it fester, obviously. But don’t crowd him, either. Give him his space.” </p>
<p>“And if that’s not what he needs?” Thor pressed anxiously. “What if he--he--” </p>
<p>He did not continue, though the words hung, unspoken and obvious enough, on the air between them. </p>
<p>
  <em>What if he gets worse? </em>
</p>
<p>Or, maybe;</p>
<p>
  <em>What if he harms himself, further? </em>
</p>
<p>“I--I can’t pretend to know him well.” Banner admitted with obvious remorse. “I wish I could tell you more. But he’s…” </p>
<p>“Right.” Thor muttered somewhat dismally, his stomach sinking somewhat as he realized that he was, more or less, well and truly alone with this; left facing a problem with no obvious solution.</p>
<p>“Give him a week.” Bruce suggested, after a somewhat uncomfortable pause. “If he hasn’t shown any signs of improvement then, maybe try talking to him.” </p>
<p>
It was an obviously halfhearted effort (for Norns knew that “talking” to Loki was a double-edged sword, at best), though Thor appreciated it, nonetheless. </p>
<p>“Alright.” he agreed, and forced a small smile as he extended a hand to rest it on Bruce’s shoulder. “I thank you, Banner.” </p>
<p>
“It’s fine.” Bruce dismissed immediately, though the corner of his mouth quirked up again in the now well-familiar sort of half smile. “Let me know how it goes.” </p>
<p>
“I will.” Thor promised, before turning to begin his trek back toward the village. </p>
<p>He could not afford to neglect his list of duties, as it had nearly doubled following the council meeting that morning. The inevitable return home, therefore, would have to wait. </p>
<p>The very thought was a heavy stone of discomfort that settled between Thor’s ribs, and only seemed to grow heavier throughout the afternoon. </p>
<p>Particularly when he did not so much as catch sight of Loki again, throughout the remainder of the day. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Three days later, and Thor had still not seen Loki so much as glance at the kitchen--much less a meal. </p>
<p>And, despite his efforts to heed Banner’s suggestion and give Loki time to adapt on his own, Thor could feel his own patience slowly beginning to grow thinner by the moment. </p>
<p>He had, after all, given Loki plenty of opportunities. </p>
<p>The evening following his conversation with Bruce, for example, he had returned home and immediately prepared a dinner of fish and pasta; light enough as to not be overwhelming, and one of Loki’s self-proclaimed favorite dishes. </p>
<p>Despite his having been absent from the meeting, however, Loki had wandered into the house a good hour after Thor had finished cooking, and had taken one look at the meal still simmering on the stovetop before claiming tiredness and disappearing into his bedroom. </p>
<p>The next two days had, more or less, followed a similar pattern. </p>
<p>Thor would set aside the time to assemble a number of meals, ranging from lighter fares to richer, sweeter meals that he had hoped might appeal to Loki’s ever-denied sweet tooth. </p>
<p>In spite of his efforts, however, Loki seemed to almost anticipate each attempt, and would be ready with a well prepared, airtight excuse each time he was faced with Thor’s enthusiasm. </p>
<p>Thor’s enthusiasm that was, admittedly, beginning to wane almost in sequence with his patience. </p>
<p>Which, he considered, was probably a good portion of the reason he was slamming the cupboards and pots in the kitchen, now, as he readied himself to prepare yet another meal that would most likely go uneaten. </p>
<p>It wasn’t as if Loki had begun to treat him unkindly or lash out. On the contrary, he had seemed to remain just as courteous and mindful as ever, offering Thor the same, almost begrudgingly fond smiles in the evenings as he continued to converse with ease. </p>
<p>That was, as long as absolutely no food was present, and Thor wasn’t attempting to subtly (not so subtly) manipulate Loki into eating. </p>
<p>Which… ‘Manipulate’ may have been a somewhat strong word, though Thor was beginning to feel as if any efforts less forceful might never even make a dent in Loki’s seemingly impenetrable, allegorical armor. </p>
<p>Rationally, Thor knew that the frustration he could feel welling within his chest was not directed at Loki, but more at the situation in its entirety. He didn’t want to be angry, and knew himself well enough to identify the worry lingering just behind the careful mask of irritation. </p>
<p>Nevertheless, the irritation was there, and Thor could neither deny nor ignore the way it flared, briefly, when Loki stepped through the front door, took one look at Thor in the kitchen, and immediately made as if to disappear into the back room. </p>
<p>Something like an ugly cocktail of mingled dread and fury bubbled up from Thor’s stomach into his chest, and he had hardly a moment to register his intention to do so before he was calling out, “Tired again?” </p>
<p>The words were spoken mildly enough, though Loki still tensed almost immediately. </p>
<p>“I’m afraid so.” he replied with a small tilt of his head and a thin, tight sort of smile. </p>
<p>Thor grunted, and reached out to grab the pot of soup from where it had been simmering on the stovetop. </p>
<p>“Busy?” he inquired as he began to ladle the meal into one of the two bowls he had set upon the table earlier that afternoon, deliberately holding Loki’s eye as he did so. </p>
<p>From where he was still stood across the room, Loki stiffened, his normally impenetrable mask of an expression cracking slightly as he glanced uncertainly down at the pot still held in Thor’s grip. </p>
<p>“It’s a busy time for the village.” he finally managed to reply, his voice somewhat thin and reedy. </p>
<p>It was a poor excuse for a diversion, particularly for Loki. </p>
<p>In reply, Thor smirked slightly, though there was little humor behind the expression. </p>
<p>“But for you?” he pressed, the dread within his core surging again when Loki flinched minutely. “Has it been busy for you?” </p>
<p>Thor was, admittedly, somewhat unsure as to why he was pressing the issue so. Typically, he might have given his brother the benefit of the doubt, on such occasions, and allowed him to come to Thor in his own time, and on his own terms. </p>
<p>
Something about the way Loki continued to hesitate in the half dark of the hall, however, or the way his hands were trembling so faintly Thor could barely make out the movement… </p>
<p>Something about it made raw fury begin to rail for an outlet, at the back of Thor’s mind. </p>
<p>He had, after all, been plagued for nearly the last fortnight by the worry gnawing incessantly deep within the pit of his stomach. </p>
<p>It seemed that it had simply reached a boiling point. </p>
<p>Loki, for his part, seemed to have caught on to Thor’s poorly concealed ire, for not a moment passed before his features abruptly shuttered, and he shifted into an almost defensive stance. </p>
<p>“I’ve been kept out nearly all day.” he countered, by means of explanation. </p>
<p>It wasn’t enough. Not by half, and Thor could not quite stop the displeased hum that sounded at the back of his throat at the words. </p>
<p>“So it would seem.” he muttered, and allowed the pot in his hand to land on the surface of the table with a dull thud, his heart twisting slightly when Loki took a small step back at the sound. </p>
<p>Thor forced himself to pause, and drew in a deep, long inhale in an attempt to steady himself, somewhat. </p>
<p>“But that’s not an answer.” he added. And, when Loki’s face contorted in what appeared to be mingled surprise and apprehension, stepped forward to draw the chair opposite him out from the table with deliberate slowness. </p>
<p>“Come sit.” he commanded, though he forced his tone to remain gentle enough as to not spark Loki’s own fury. </p>
<p>To Thor’s surprise, Loki hesitated only briefly, before he strode forward in an almost painfully transparent, feigned nonchalance. </p>
<p>“I <em>am </em>tired, brother.” he muttered, even as he settled into the seat that Thor was still stood beside. </p>
<p>For another brief moment, Thor allowed himself to hover silently, his shadow cast dark and long over Loki’s carefully blank features, before he took a step back and fell into the seat across the table. </p>
<p>“You look it.” he commented off-handedly, and it was not untruthful. </p>
<p>Over the past several days, it seemed as if the bags beneath Loki’s eyes had grown infinitely darker. It hadn’t been since those first few weeks on the Statesman, at the very least, that Thor had seen them so heavy. </p>
<p>The hollows beneath his cheekbones, too, seemed to have grown ever more sharp and deep. It almost frightened Thor to look at them, or the fragile, almost bird-like quality of his wrists. </p>
<p>This wasn’t new, Thor realized dismally and with an almost dizzying suddenness, as he watched Loki glance pointedly away from the meal before him. </p>
<p>It may have been more visible, now. The avoidance and distaste more pronounced, maybe. </p>
<p>But this was not new, and Thor had very nearly <em>missed </em>that. </p>
<p>“Perhaps a good meal would help.” Thor forced himself to croak out past the sudden tightening of his throat. </p>
<p>If anything, Loki’s features only stilled further, though his right hand had settled upon the table to fiddle uncomfortably with the spoon there. </p>
<p>“Perhaps.” Loki echoed blankly. </p>
<p>Something about the quality of his voice -- or the total lack of expression, maybe -- made Thor’s stomach roll again, and he began tucking into his own meal with perhaps too much enthusiasm.</p>
<p>Particularly if Loki’s slight grimace was anything to go by. </p>
<p>The next few minutes passed similarly, Thor shoveling his own food into his mouth with dwindling enthusiasm, and Loki sitting slouched in his seat and glaring at his soup, arms crossed tightly over his stomach. </p>
<p>
For a moment, he looked all of three-hundred years old, and the sight made Thor’s anger at the <em>unfairness </em>of the entire situation flare back to life. </p>
<p>This was not how things should be, he considered morosely. They were <em>adults</em>, for Norns’ sake; one of them a <em>king </em>and the other a crown prince. </p>
<p>Loki’s ever-cloying pickiness should have ebbed years ago. He should not have to be sitting, now, avoiding his meal like a child sitting at a table far too large for him, petulantly refusing to eat his vegetables. </p>
<p>
They should have long been past this. </p>
<p>(Whatever <em>this </em>was). </p>
<p>“Not hungry?” Thor forced himself to speak, at length, and moved to set his spoon down on the table when he realized that his own appetite was no longer quite as healthy. </p>
<p>At the words, Loki’s features darkened slightly, though the shrug he offered was casual enough. </p>
<p>“I’m tired.” he repeated, for what must have been the millionth time in the past week. </p>
<p>Before he realized what he was doing, Thor felt the spoon within his hand bend beneath the force of his grip. </p>
<p>The movement, it seemed, was not lost on Loki, for his eyes grew slightly wider, and snapped to watch as the metal contorted beneath Thor’s fingers. </p>
<p>“I think I’ll just head to--” </p>
<p>
Thor wasn’t sure when he had moved, but before Loki had completed his sentence, he was across the room, heaving for breath as he gripped the back of Loki’s chair with one hand. </p>
<p>Loki, who was now staring up at him with wide, glittering eyes. </p>
<p>“Finish your meal.” Thor muttered, lowly enough that his words might have gone entirely unheard, were it not for the almost eerie stillness of the room around them. </p>
<p>For a moment, Loki simply continued to watch him warily, before his mouth split into a garish mockery of a smile. </p>
<p>“Release my chair, brother.” he hissed. </p>
<p>It reminded Thor starkly of the tone his brother had favored on Midgard (so unfamiliar then he had seemed almost a stranger), and something cold ran down the back of his neck at the thought. </p>
<p>“You’re not eating.” Thor declared by way of a reply. </p>
<p>The words were spoken perhaps too plainly, and Thor watched with little satisfaction as a muscle in Loki’s cheek jumped before he could school his features. </p>
<p>“Let me go.” he murmured, the words clearly a warning. “I am tired.” </p>
<p>“Not until you eat.” Thor argued, and willed his expression to remain impassive even as his heart continued to hammer unsteadily in his throat. </p>
<p>Loki’s face contorted into something ugly and almost foreign, then, his eyes blazing as he leaned forward to sneer in Thor’s face. </p>
<p>“I am not some beast that you have tamed.” he snarled. “I am not here for you to control. <em>Release </em>me.” </p>
<p>“Not until you <em>eat</em>!” Thor cried, then, and very nearly felt the last of his patience snap just beneath his ribs. “<em>Damn</em> it, Loki!” </p>
<p>He fell forward, then, and braced his hand on the other side of the chair, so that he was effectively pinning Loki in place. </p>
<p>If anything, Loki’s eyes only grew wider, and his breaths stuttered unsteadily against Thor’s face as he leaned in to meet his brother’s gaze levelly. </p>
<p>“I won’t watch you do this!” Thor continued, the volume of his words reverberating off the walls of the room. “Not again! Why can’t you just--” he broke off, and inhaled a deep and unsteady breath. </p>
<p>“Why won’t you just <em>eat</em>?” </p>
<p>For a moment, the only sound in the room was each of their breaths, uneven and mingling between them. </p>
<p>Then, Loki stilled very pointedly, and drew back to survey Thor through a shrewd, narrowed gaze. </p>
<p>It was an expression Thor had seen on his features thousands of times before now, and he knew well enough to be immediately set on edge at the sight. </p>
<p>“Very well.” Loki replied, coolly and seemingly detached. “If you will leave me be, and refrain from speaking further--” his eyes sharpened somewhat, when Thor opened his mouth to intervene. </p>
<p>Almost immediately, Thor shut his mouth, and Loki watched him for another long moment before continuing. </p>
<p>“If you will swear to leave me be, I will do your bidding.” </p>
<p>He retook his spoon in hand, then, and shot Thor a look so utterly wry and mocking, Thor nearly stumbled back a step beneath the force of it. </p>
<p>“Who am I to deny my king anything?” Loki whispered, the words sickly sweet between them. </p>
<p>Thor did draw back then, though only far enough to fall back into his own seat, his breaths still slightly ragged, though his forced his gaze to remain firmly locked on his brother. </p>
<p>There was a long pause as Loki seemed to hesitate, his eyes growing slightly wider and more distant as he fumbled briefly with his spoon. </p>
<p>Then, to Thor’s slight relief, he fell back into action, and scooped a small bit of soup up before taking a vicious bite. </p>
<p>Briefly, Thor wanted to cheer outright at the progress, though he immediately bit his tongue and forced himself to simply relax minutely, and watched quietly as Loki shoved another spoonful into his mouth. </p>
<p>Somehow, it seemed as if saying anything at all might break the fragile moment of respite that had settled between the two of them, even as the corners of Loki’s mouth began to turn down in distaste, and the hand still clutching the spoon began to tremble noticeably. </p>
<p>Still, Thor did not move, and did not dare speak for fear of shattering this small progress. Even--</p>
<p>Even as Loki stilled, and his eyes went comically wide as he seemed to actually take note of what he was doing for the first time. </p>
<p>The previous, tentative silence of the room was broken, then, by Loki’s breaths growing audibly harsher as his shoulders tensed, and the tremor in his hands intensified.</p>
<p>Alarmed, Thor opened his mouth, Loki’s name on the tip of his tongue--</p>
<p>And instead watched in horror as Loki seized up, once, before abruptly crumpling like a puppet whose strings had been cut. </p>
<p>“Loki!” Thor did cry, then, and fell out of his seat to scramble across the room. </p>
<p>By the time he reached his brother’s side, however, Loki’s face was firmly covered by both his hands, his breaths harsh and uneven as they echoed about the kitchen. </p>
<p>“Loki,” Thor repeated breathlessly, and reached up to grip both of Loki’s wrists as gently as he could. “Loki, breathe.” </p>
<p>If anything, Loki’s breaths only grew harsher, and he fell further forward a moment later as if in an attempt to curl further in on himself. </p>
<p>Or, Thor realized distantly, maybe not further in on himself.</p>
<p>Further away from the table, however… </p>
<p>Thor sat up with a jolt, then, and carefully took Loki’s still half full bowl of soup in one hand, before hastily placing it as far away as he could. </p>
<p>“It’s alright.” he murmured, as soon as he turned back to his brother, and laid the hand not still gripping Loki’s wrist on one of his quivering knees. “You’re alright. Just breathe.” </p>
<p>“Nn.” Loki gasped, before he jerked and stilled so suddenly Thor nearly drew back in shock. </p>
<p>Then, to Thor’s horror, Loki straightened, eyes still wide and slightly red at the corners, and gagged audibly before jerking his arm out of Thor’s hold to press his forearm firmly over his mouth. </p>
<p>“No!” Thor shouted, even as Loki gagged again and lurched clumsily out of his chair as if in a desperate attempt to break away. </p>
<p>Immediately, the image of Loki hunched over the sink and expelling the contents of his stomach rose to the forefront of Thor’s mind, and his own stomach clenched sickeningly. </p>
<p>“No,” he repeated, and raised one arm to wrap it tightly around Loki’s narrow shoulder as his brother jerked forward again. “<em>Please</em>, Loki. Please.” </p>
<p>For a moment, it seemed that Loki was going to continue to struggle, his breaths sharp and audibly wet in Thor’s ear. </p>
<p>Then, he released a small wail, and fell forward to curl over Thor’s shoulder, his forearm still clamped firmly over his mouth as he swallowed thickly, gagged, then swallowed again. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Thor whispered fervently, and tightened his hold when Loki trembled mightily against him. “I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>The strange half-sob, half-wail sounded in Thor’s ear again, though he only tugged his brother closer in reply. </p>
<p>“Please.” Thor whispered, and swallowed past the sudden burning in his nose and behind his eye. “Please, Loki. Talk to me. You have to--You have to tell me what’s wrong.”</p>
<p>A sudden, bone deep weariness overtook him, then, and Thor fairly collapsed against Loki’s still shuddering form, his nose pressed up against one too-sharp collarbone. </p>
<p>“Please.” he repeated. “Please, Lo. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” </p>
<p>In truth, Thor had not at all expected a reply, given Loki’s previous tendencies to simply clam up and refuse to speak for anywhere between an hour to a number of days, when similarly worked up in the past. </p>
<p>It was to his great surprise, then, that Loki inhaled a mighty, tremulous breath, before he tentatively drew his forearm a scant few inches away from his mouth. </p>
<p>Thor’s stomach turned at the sight of the swollen, red bite-marks imprinted on the skin there, though he bit his tongue against any verbal protests, for now. </p>
<p>They could, if necessary, address that later. </p>
<p>“I--” Loki began, somewhat unsteadily, “I--I can’t--It--” </p>
<p>“Shh.” Thor hushed, when Loki’s breaths began to grow ragged again, and rubbed his thumb soothingly against the edge of Loki’s knee. “It’s alright.” </p>
<p>He glanced up briefly, and offered a small half-smile when he managed to catch Loki’s eye. </p>
<p>There was a beat, before Loki glanced upward, and blinked rapidly as he continued to heave for breath. </p>
<p>“It--” he began again, his voice tight and thick. “There’s no room.” </p>
<p>The admission was so sudden that Thor felt a jolt of shock lace through his chest at the words. </p>
<p>
He had hardly a moment to consider them, however, for not a moment later Loki was crumbling forward with a muted gasp. </p>
<p>“There’s no room.” he repeated. Then, breathlessly, “No room. There’s--There’s noroomnoroomno--” </p>
<p>
“Loki,” Thor breathed, and immediately tightened his hold when Loki barked a sob against the side of his neck. “Hush. It--Shhh shh shh. <em>Loki</em>.” </p>
<p>To Thor’s dismay, Loki’s sobs only grew more frantic, and after a moment his chest began to heave against Thor’s own as he fought to regain control of his rapidly spiralling breaths. </p>
<p>“Nn--” Loki gasped, “I--Nn--Th--<em>Thor--</em>” </p>
<p>“Shhh.” Thor repeated, and raised one hand to begin running it a little frantically through Loki’s curls. </p>
<p>When Loki all but burrowed against his side at the touch with an audible whimper, Thor simply gathered him closer and pressed a long kiss to the side of his head. </p>
<p>“It’s alright.” he murmured as he began to rock his brother gently back and forth. “I know it’s hard. I know.” </p>
<p>The words made something sour settle between his ribs, and Thor briefly had to swallow back another wave of helplessness as it crested within his chest. </p>
<p>How could he <em>know</em>, after all, if Loki would not talk to him? <em>Could </em>not even talk to him without crumbling into this inconsolable, broken creature currently trembling against him? </p>
<p>But that was just the thing, Thor realized as he pressed another soothing kiss to his brother’s temple and simply <em>breathed </em>for a moment. </p>
<p>This wasn’t something that he could fix with just a conversation, as desperately as he wished it were otherwise. </p>
<p>Therefore, Thor forced himself back to the moment at hand, and moved one arm to wrap it around Loki’s lower back as his brother finally slid from his chair to collapse against his side, and continued to weep breathlessly. </p>
<p>Not quite sure what else to do, Thor shifted so that either of his legs were bracketing Loki’s sides, and began to rub the hand not tangled in Loki’s hair soothingly up and down the knobs of his spine. </p>
<p>“I know.” Thor repeated and, as he pressed forward to bury his face into the curls at the crown of Loki’s head, finally allowed himself to succumb to a scant few of his own private tears. </p>
<p>“I know.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is pretty heavy material, so i do want to take a moment to say that the way Thor handles Loki's ED here is obviously not appropriate or helpful. forcing someone having issues with food and/or eating to eat and utilizing your anger to manipulate them into doing what you want, even if it's for their own good, is never the answer. </p>
<p>that being said! they're dysfunctional and still learning how to simply <i>exist</i> around each other again, but they really are trying. </p>
<p>a huge thank you and love sent to those who have left comments and wonderful messages for me! this one took a bit longer to get out just because of Life, but i promise that i'm still working with the prompts and am very much enjoying each new one i get !</p>
<p>come say hi on <a href="http://littlekinng.tumblr.com">tumblr !</a> xx </p></blockquote></div></div>
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